I'm like a turd, I only float away.
I don't know where my hole is, I don't know where my a__hole is.

The story:

Singing it in the car with a friend and his wife -- it was her CD. D'oh!

And, to answer the next question... Yes, to this day I think my version is FAR better than the real one. I *liked* the song when I thought it was a funny, cleverly-sung slap in the face of commercial radio. After I learned I had it wrong, I had to actually listen to Furtado's terrible, Maria-Carey-wannabe warbling. D'oh!