I'd rather be a carrot than a snail,
Yes I would.
If I could,
I surely would.

The story:

I've loved that song for ages and have always wondered why in the
world someone would rather be a carrot... I mean, what's so great
about being one?

I then recently voiced my worries to my father, only to receive
hysterical laughter and a rather ungraceful correction... oh, the
shame.