"Making love to his tiny friend Jim."

The story:

My mom, known for her misheard lyrics, was watching "Don't Forget the Lyrics" one night. When the contestant sang his lyrics (which were the correct one's) my mom said "Oh, darn it. He was so close." The lights and bells went off and the contestant had won. My mom looked confused, then embarrassed. I asked what she thought the lyrics were. When she told me I could not stop laughing for a good 5 minutes. I still picture Billy Joel walking out of a bar hand-in-hand with a midget named Jim.