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    Latest Misheard Stories

    Artist: Statler Brothers

    Song: Eve

    The Story: Don't eat the fruit in the garden, Eden,, It wasn't in God's natural plan., You were only a rib,, And look at what you did,, To Adam, the father of Man.

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    Artist: Queens of the Stone Age

    Song: You Can't Quit Me Baby

    The Story: You smell like goat, I'll see you in hell

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    Artist: Starship

    Song: Sarah

    The Story: All the b***h had said, all been washed in black

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    Artist: Iron Maiden

    Song: The Prisoner

    The Story: And my blunt is my ho now

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    Artist: Pearl Jam

    Song: Jeremy

    The Story: At home, drawing pictures, Of mounds of tots, With ham on top

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    Slowly stroke me!

    Artist: Billy Squier
    Song: The Stroke
    Real Lyric: Stroke me, Stroke Me!



    The story:

    I don't think there were any gay or bisexual people where I grew up, so I thought Squier was just being macho -- especially with the hard jamming drive of this song: I mean, how COULD it have been sexual?

    I was hanging out with a bunch of more sophisticated "cool" guys one day when we got to talking about songs we liked. There were quite a few musicians in the crowd, plus some stoners.

    Although "harder" rock tunes were heavily favored, lots of the guys liked sappy "love songs" that were -- imho -- musical junk.

    So, I (being a genuine prude, goody-2-shoes, virgin-by-choice oddball) interjected I REALLY liked "The Stroke."

    About half the guys faces instantly flashed a "WTF?!" expression (I thought everybody knew I was straight) and the other half expressed extreme discomfort with my revelation.

    One of my pals mentioned that I didn't know what the heck I was talking about, and I took offense -- because I thought he was saying I had poor taste in music.

    I pointed out that several of the other songs were,by contrast, effeminate -- and I felt "real men" would respond positively to the energy of "The Stroke."

    I still think it's got great energy and cool licks -- kinda like "Slow Ride" (LUUUV that intro).

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